ch. 13

We got to Mizore's room before it got too dark; and Mizore was telling me about her summer with her family. The tone of her voice when she explained all of it sounded as if she was actually really happy. Which was a definitely good sign; to me at least. We were similar people; and at least she could have fun with her family; I didn't really even have fun anymore. It was all survival and training myself in some way or another; but then again..what else was there to do when you are the only living member of your bloodline? If I die; my family dies off with me, so all I can do is survive. I was glad that Mizore was happy; it always made me feel like despite the fact that I lost everything that I had ever held close to me, and almost died; that there was still a small light that would always shine through the darkness I usually found myself buried in.
"So did you do anything else over the summer besides train with Ginei?" Mizore asked curiously; sitting on her bed. I looked at her and pondered her question. Did I do anything besides train with Ginei and Suta over the entire summer break? Besides dying my hair; I didn't do much over the summer, I was too busy making up everything that I missed over the school year. And after passing the final exam before summer break with a 62 percent; I really couldn't afford to not have gone to the remedial classes. But I did do a few things over the summer besides just training.
"Well; in a sense yes. I got myself saved by Tsukune even though I had told him to simply let me die; that I didn't want his help; um.. hmm what else did I do besides that and training?" I replied; slightly confused.
"You dumbass Zayt! Don't you have any memory at all!! Gosh; you just about killed yourself by jumping off that damn cliff after Tsukune had saved you; then Moka just about killed you to knock some damn sense into you!!" the voice screamed in my head; making it feel like my brain was going to explode. I slightly turned my head away from Mizore and rubbed my forehead; trying to get rid of the massive headache. I hated that voice in my head so much; that sometimes I contemplated simply shutting down all of my emotions again just to shut it up. But I knew that I could never give up on the emotions I had now; because I would lose Mizore forever if I did. And even though sometimes; dying seems like the only way to stop all of my pain; I have to stay alive, because I can't give up and let Tsukune beat me. I love Mizore more than he ever will; which is why I hate him so much..because she loves him in the same way that I love her. But if I just remained patient, Mizore would eventually decide that Tsukune is no longer worth it; and her feelings will change from him to me; then I'll be able to walk away from all the hatred that rests inside of my heart; and finally be able to be truly happy again. I slowly turned my head back to Mizore and smiled slightly..I had reduced the headache enough that I could actually focus on Mizore again.
"Are you okay Zayt?" Mizore asked, looking at me with her enchanting blue eyes. I blushed lightly as my mind went to a euphoric state. She was so incredibly beautiful; it was hard not to resist how badly I honestly wanted to kill Tsukune just to be with her.
"Hehe...see Zayt; you're just a raging psychopath under that strong sense of chivalry you call your lifestyle. You want to rip the flesh off of Tsukune's body just because he won't choose. You're no better than any normal criminal you encountered in the human world.." the voice rasped hatefully. I gritted my teeth slightly angry. I hated when that damn voice insulted me like that. I wasn't the same as any criminal; in any way whatsoever. I hated Tsukune because he was going to hurt three girls when he made his choice.. Criminals don't hurt people because they want to keep someone else safe; they do it for their own damn pleasure; or due to some sort of psychological problem. I wasn't like that..I only said I really wanted to kill Tsukune because I'm jealous of him..
"Mizore, when exactly is your birthday?" I asked; trying to force the voice back into my subconscience. Mizore smiled at me and leaned closer to me.
"In a few months. Why?" Mizore asked quietly. I blushed lightly and smiled. I had been planning for a while for Mizore's birthday; and had completely overlooked the fact that I never learned when exactly her birthday was.
"Just wondering." I replied. Technically I was and wasn't lying to her at the same time. I couldn't let her know what I had planned for her birthday; but also at the same time, I needed to know her birthday. Mizore smiled at me cutely; causing me to blush darkly. I hated how no matter how many times Mizore smiled at me; I always blushed. But could I really blame myself; she was incredibly beautiful; any person would blush if someone like Mizore smiled at them.
"Um Mizore; it's getting late..I should probably start heading home. I'll see you tomorrow?" I commented questioningly. Mizore smiled and yawned slightly.
"Mkay. See you tomorrow Zayt. Have a good night." Mizore whispered. I smiled.
"You too." I replied quietly; leaving Mizore's room, heading back to my own room. Today was a good day overall; I got to be with Mizore, and I didn't get killed today.. So I guess today was a technical victory on my part.